hmm it seems. that there is a jinx surrounding me. i cant like someone. it seems like whoever i like..will get attached..to another gal, who will happen to be a good fren of mine. seems to be so to me. I dunoe. really dunoe. this time round..can be considered a much more worse case than the rest. It doesnt help when frens started to say he's not bad. same interest. not bad looking (at least not ugly). taller than me (though much thinner). smart. - just not tat bad. though he does remind me of my brother. yeah. the more they talk about it, the more i'm influenced. did i say i'm the easily influenced type? i am. though i noe it's not gd - to like someone cos pple say so.

but i really did start to feel so. perhaps a few mths back, last sem. perhaps even earlier, i'm not sure. were doing something for games earlier cos we were both captains. same clique. but i'm the isolationist + introvert type. then over the months because of the sports, we communicated more as compared to yr1. knew each other during orientation, same grp. but only noe him properly at end of yr1, start of yr2. wld say yr2. i dunoe. sigh. nothing happened during those months, hk trip etc. juz nothing. sigh. n i did nothing, thinking that if fate says so. then it'll be so. oh well. i think this time, fell too deep compared to before. got to stop. can only wish them happy. both are gd frens of mine. sigh. tough to talk to him le. scared of rumours also. eeks. can only say - pple drink, i eat. I had been eating a lot...had been trying to eat less, sleep late, wake up either late/early very, drink less water, gg MIA in hall, hiding in room. haven been able to smile from the heart. very very sianz.